Update and “Everything”

Life has been busier and more difficult than usual lately – if that’s even possible. I try not to complain though because I’ve learned the hard way that life can always get worse. Hardships disguise themselves as trials but I think positivity is the real challenge. Every once in awhile though, pure joy shines and a sense of calm bliss finds its home in the centre of my being. Most often, those moments resemble this one:


Whatever else is going on, I have the best friend and partner that even my imagination couldn’t conjur before I met him. There are many things about our relationship that people don’t understand – and I couldn’t care less. We work together, we love each other, we cry and laugh and worry together…and sometimes he just plays me music while I find my bliss again…

I’m working on that positivity…and “if the while I think on thee dear friend, all losses are restored and sorrows end.” (William Shakespeare, Sonnet 30)


Lyrical Stress

I haven’t touched the novel in weeks…maybe longer. (Much longer). I’ve been working on lyrics and as the stresses of  ‘normal’ life increase exponentially, so have the pressures of writing lyrics to a deadline. The minutes slip away as the studio date draws near.

But finally, my partner in rhyme and I finished writing the lyrics for the final song tonight. It goes without saying that I’m not completely in love with every word but that’s part of the neurotic leanings of a writer. I can’t use enough superlatives to explain how much I love writing these songs together, but I’ll ponder and worry and rewrite until the final moments before recording. Every song needs to be vetted and I know I’ll hate each one of them before the process is over. And then I’ll fall in love with them all over again…

I kick myself because I’m not Shakespeare, but these are pop songs – and considering that one of the top songs right now (I song I might admit to liking *cough*) includes the lyrics, “Boom, boom, boom. Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon…”, maybe I should let go of my neurotic self-flagellation.


The better half of this dynamic duo…

“Never On Your Own” by Anto

Lyrics by Christine Noels
The shadows in your voice, they whisper my name
And through your laugh, you let me hear your pain
You let go of your doubt to reach out for me
And you know I, I won’t let you disappear
You fight against the world and who you should be
Trying to stay yourself and who they want to see
And screaming down you get lost in your fears
But you know I, I won’t let you disappear
You don’t need to keep fighting
You’re not here alone
I’ve got your hand, I’ve got your back
You’re never on your own
They play their games and gamble with your dreams
They hold you down and listen to you scream
Their promises keep changing into tears
But you know I, I won’t let you disappear

You don’t need to keep fighting
You’re not here alone
I’ve got your hand, I’ve got your back
You’re never on your own
The shadows in your voice, they whisper my name
And I’ll be here, I’ll never walk away

by Anto

My Partner in Rhyme

I’ve never been a team player.

Oh, I work well with others – I share my toys and encourage everyone, and I’m really good at being in charge – but I’d much rather work alone. Too independent, too impatient and frankly, too resistant to authority, I hate being part of the crowd. Even as a child I’d do anything to avoid the dreaded group projects at school. “Pick a partner” was the battle-cry of sadists posing as teachers.

So imagine my surprise to find out that there’s one person in this world with whom I can write. Write! Personal and deeply introspective, the process of writing has no rules or universal truths. It’s as individual as each writer – even from project to project the process can change dramatically. So then how is it possible that I can not only write with someone else but revel in the joy of it…

I write with my best friend.

We don’t always write together; I have my novels and whatever else sparks my imagination, while he has his songs and stories, his poetry… But there are times when we come together to work on something and it surpasses anything else I’ve ever done as a writer. Suddenly, there’s joy in finding the right combination of words. There’s excitement when we realize at the same moment that a sentence is perfect. There’s a bond in creating something together. We know each other so deeply, know how the other one thinks, how the other one sees the world… I think we create something together that neither one of us could create on our own.  

I’m still not a team player. I couldn’t duplicate this experience with anyone else – nor do I want to try. There’s a trust and love that doesn’t exist anywhere but inside of us and it’s that bond that allows us to go beyond building worlds. It’s about creating something intimate. It’s about what exists between us… Maybe that’s the magic…

“I Believe” by Anto

Lyrics by Christine Noels


We get lost in distance,
We stumble, broken by our pain.
There’s so much, between us –
too much to lose, too much to gain,
So we let go and hold on tight –
brave and daring through the night…
As we grow both weak and strong,
we find a place where we belong.
We are too far,
Never too close
I believe in me and you…
In each word, we find worlds,
building stories with our dreams.
On each page, in each song
There are memories of who we have been.
Let me save you from your fears –
I promise I’ll always be here.
Trust me I’ll never walk away –
Beside You is where I’ll always stay
We are too far,
Never too close
I believe in me and you
No matter how, all we need 
is to believe in me and you
You’re everywhere in my mind
You’re everywhere in my soul
You’re everywhere inside me
You’re everywhere I want to be
We are too far,
Never too close
I believe in me and you
No matter how, all we need
is to believe in me and you…