Aftermath

No matter the distance, the miles of

fights and broken screams

There’s always a moment when we figure out

what it all means.

Laying here inside your love

hearing your heart beat free,

the melody inside your soul

brings me back to “I Believe.”

Update and “Everything”

Life has been busier and more difficult¬†than¬†usual lately – if that’s even possible. I try not to complain¬†though because I’ve learned the hard way that¬†life can always get worse. Hardships disguise themselves as trials but I think positivity is the real challenge. Every once in awhile though,¬†pure joy shines and a¬†sense of calm¬†bliss finds its home in the centre of my being. Most often, those moments resemble this one:

 

Whatever else is going on, I have the best friend and partner that even my imagination couldn’t conjur before I met him. There are many things about our relationship that people don’t understand – and I couldn’t care less. We work together, we love each other, we cry and laugh and worry together…and sometimes he just plays me music while I find my bliss again…

I’m working on that positivity…and “if the¬†while I think on thee dear friend, all losses are restored and sorrows end.” (William Shakespeare, Sonnet 30)

 

I Feel You

As the birds harmonize over the sound of traffic and the leaves rustle and whisper like ghosts in the shadows, I feel you here – away from time – in a world that exists in our hearts – wide open and free, intimate and deep…

Choices

We have so few choices in our lives. Sure, we have millions of little decisions every day, but I’m talking about the big ones. We’re brought into this world, into a country and economic bracket that wasn’t of our choosing, into a skin that we didn’t get to choose, into a complex jumble of neurotransmitters and other biological determinates that weren’t of our choosing… We cling to the notion that¬†we are products¬†of our own design –¬†but we forget that the foundation on which we build ourselves, was handed to us without options.

I hate my looks, curse my weaknesses, wish I could’ve won a bit more in the DNA lottery… I am haunted by what I’ve lost and what I couldn’t reach. I get so caught up in wishing I could’ve been born with more, that I forget that I was born with so much.

I wasn’t born in a place where water is scarce, or where bullets fly over my head on a daily basis. The fact that I’m a woman doesn’t condemn me to a life without rights, where I am someone else’s property. My child has food. My child has dreams. My child is able to be a child, not a soldier.

Sometimes it’s hard to look at your own life with perspective but flip on the news and¬†see what life could’ve been like – what it IS¬†like for someone else – through no choices of their own. If you feel safe in this moment, if¬†you feel loved, if¬†you have food and a roof, then maybe you’re luckier than you think.

Take From Me…

Take from me what you need,
Lean on me when you’re weak,
Expect me to love you,
Assume my shoulder is always yours…
 
But don’t ever be fooled –
Don’t think that I can’t see…
You use me and give back…what?
 
It’s getting easier for me not to care.

Masquerade

The first lie was the hardest,
but the masquerade gets easier.
Hiding in front of them all,
we pretend there’s nothing between us.

Every time you touch my soul
I want to shout and claim you as mine,
But this secret I will keep…
and we’ll cherish every hidden kiss.

Just Another Night

The soft sounds of a breath, a tender chuckle, an ‘I love you’ in the night…

these gentle reverberations, so close and so intimate,

have the power to seige fortresses and win wars…

The depth of how our eyes hold steady and peer deep into each other’s souls…

In a single flash there is a crushing vulnerability that

by the sheer fact of its existance, creates unyielding strength. Everything exposed. Everything confessed. Everything safe in unquestionable trust

It’s just another night spent with you.

In trust, In love

Vulnerable in trust,
we fight to keep us sacred.
How could blythe words express¬†who we are, what we share…
Profound, deep…pure. Our love,
it’s beyond the power of words.
Vulnerable in love,
we fight to keep each other strong.
 
 

An Eden Sinking

A tapestry beautiful and alive..
woven out of ribbon so rich and dense,
that it shimmers with nature’s first green,
Intricate layers of secrets and trust,
mysteries and magic that no one else can understand.
 
Judged from a distance,
the story is hidden within the picture –
a garden of hues – delicate threads of golden strength,
each stitch of every leaf is the battle, the love, the reason…
the belief in me and you…
 
But as the sun goes down, its dying glow
illuminating the warp and weft of what we’ve created,
the frayed edges of a hole are betrayed –
revealing an emptiness where the beauty falters,
not able to stay in the ugliness of words not spoken.